Thanksgiving

to intentionally take time to be grateful and to give thanks for all the good things that God has loaded me with.

O magnify the Lord with me.

To remember how I walked through dark valleys led by a kindly light; How I walked through fire unscathed; how I didn’t drown when Life overwhelmed me.

O magnify the Lord with me.

For old friends who are still alive, whose laughter makes my heart merry, whose tears clutch my heart. whose presence is like fine aged wine, smooth around the ages and mellow as it slips down my throat. Grateful.

For new friends, effervescent and loud. Dancing like tiny candle lights against a once dark future. Bringing new perspectives, freshness and bubbliest laughter into my life.

Exhilarating.

For family, belonging and affirmation. They dole it out like crunchy morsels of KFC. Succulent memories of hours spent doing life. The unending reminder that no matter how far or how long ago, some things don’t change.

Precious.

for husband and children whose patience and love is indescribable. the well that never runs dry and always available to refill. How awesome it is to be loved by you.

Sweetest.

For my King and the lover of my soul who has daily loaded me with good things because He counts me worthy of His love. Who generously dishes out love like hot steaming matooke and lavishes me with grace like smoked groundnuts.

Delicious.

O magnify the Lord with me.

Gone Maama gone

Mmmmmhh….. Hmmmm……

Silence.

I called out for you maama-

You looked at me, in your haste to leave,

I saw you look at me Maama…

I reached out for you Maama…my arms hang limp now, my fingers are numb, Maama-

Why did you walk out Maama?

They came for me, when THEY came for me… Maamaaaa? Turn back, Maamaaaa… don’t leave.

Why didn’t you wave them away with your magical wand?

They pricked all my pores like a million gnats, they gnawed at the soles of my feet with glass. Maamaaaa, O Maamaaaa, hoo….maamaaa

Come back… come back.

Why didn’t you say anything Maama?

They put fire in my mouth, they sucked ice cold water through my ears.

Hiccup! Hiccup!

I fail to remember your sweet voice, Maama, your sweet voice that sung me lullabies, that fed me sweet morsels of hope;

Who are you Maama?

Did you forget me? the child you nursed on your breast, the crying child you rocked to sleep every night.

The knife, O Maamaaaa; they bled me till I bleated.

What is the color of blood Maama? is it crimson? Is it silver? Is it gold?

Is it dark? Dark as sorrow?Dark as the shroud of my captors?

It’s only the sound of silence, child. Maama’s gone. Maama’s gone.

Falling flat on your face

The one thing that all the girls at school avoided like the plague was ‘digiloss‘, a term that comfortably set our behaviour boundaries. There was an expectation -‘digi‘-about how we should walk, carry ourselves in public. Anything that did not fit within ‘digi‘ was ‘digiloss‘. The ultimate ‘digiloss’ was falling flat on your face, Oh myyyyyy what a fall that would be. The news spread like wildfire and it wasn’t good.

Thankfully, I never did experience this as a younger person. However, before I could comfortably pat myself on the back as an almost ‘digi’ Princess, I found myself flat on a sidewalk at mall. I thought that thud couldn’t possibly be me! why does the pavement look nearer? My senses slowly returned and the only feeling was one of embarrassment and true, authentic ‘digiloss’. There I was dust all over my jeans, scrapped knees, bits of sand in my mouth and my bags all over the pavement….This cannot be happening…ground swallow me! How undignified you look, dear. It was a spectacular failure, the ultimate bow to gravity.

Yet Joshua seems to find pleasure is falling flat on His face when he meets the Captain of the Lord’s Hosts and even removes his shoes. The twenty four elders do the same in the vision John has in the book of Revelation. Mackenzie in The Shack does the same when all He knows about God from his childhood through seminary is challenged. God doesn’t look like he does in his imagination, neither does He speak like He does in the Bible movies. The Pharisees couldn’t wrap themselves round Jesus either, His knowledge of the Law was unrivalled and yet He healed on the Sabbath, He spent time with women and tax collectors,He turned water into wine! Their cleverly designed god starts to crack right before their eyes.

Joshua, the elders, Mackenzie come to the realization that to worship God is to fall flat on our faces, our knowledge of Him is not only limited but also too embarrassing to mention. Every vestige of who we are and what we hold dear is a complete total loss in the presence of the Omnipresent one. We should completely strip our souls. Forget the bags,strip to nothing,no agendas, no titles, completely nothing….no ‘digi’ to find the our maker.

I choose to fall completely and spectacularly flat on my face in the presence of God. To go back to basics, I am clay, I fade like grass…You are God alone, Magnificent in splendour and Majesty, holy and untainted , You are all I need.

Will you fall flat on your face?

First blog post

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